Have you ever felt that way? You’re in the middle of a challenging workplace conflict, and you’re completely at a loss for words.
Are you angry. they are angry You might even say something you can’t take back. Then in the middle of the night, the perfect words come to you. “I wish I’d said” regrets can be deep.
It is impossible to prepare for every conflict in the workplace. And, you can’t influence the script. But it can be incredibly useful to prepare for inevitable workplace disagreements by thinking about what you might say before you have to say it.
Today we’re sharing some power phrases to help you navigate challenging conflicts in the workplace. Use these words, and others like them, to foster connection, create clarity, appear a little more curious, and move the conversation toward resolution.
We mean these phrases to be thought-provoking guidelines, not a script. Use them as a starting point to evoke the right words that feel natural and authentic to you.
12 powerful phrases to help you deal with conflicts in the workplace
Powerful phrases to foster connection
One of the best approaches to dealing with conflict in the workplace is to connect on a human level. Depersonalize the conflict by personalizing the conversation. Here are a few to get you started.
1. I care about _____ (you, this team, this project) and I’m sure we can find a solution we can all work with.
Of course, this requires honesty. If your past behavior makes this statement questionable, you will want to supplement this statement with a Honest apology As you indicate your intention for your future relationship.
2. Let’s stop this conversation for a moment, and come back (an hour, a few hours, tomorrow) and talk about it.
When you’re in the heat of a workplace conflict, it’s hard to find the right words. Taking a minute to pause gives both of you a chance to regroup and consider the bigger picture, the desired outcomes, and how to approach the conversation more productively.
3. It sounds like you feel _____ is that true? [pause for affirmation]. Thank you for telling me how you feel.
Checking in with the other person to validate their feelings can help de-escalate conflict at any point in the conversation.
When you “reflect to connect” you disagree with what they said or you agree with their feeling. Instead, you know how they feel. you see them When you reflect, you check for understanding and create a common starting point for conversation.
When they know you’ve seen and heard them, it dissipates some of the emotional intensity and builds a connection that allows you to move on to constructive next steps.
For example: “It sounds like you’re really frustrated with the lack of response from marketing and it hurts your motivation. Do I have that right?”
Powerful phrases to create clarity
Most conflict at work (or anywhere else) stems from a breach of expectation. Some of the most powerful phrases you can use in any conflict are the ones that lead to greater clarity.
4. What would a successful outcome look like to you?
You may or may not agree on what success looks like, but getting clarity around expectations can save a lot of time and wasted energy. If it turns out that you both want the same thing, you can move on to a “how can we” conversation. “Great, it sounds like we both want something similar. So how can we make it happen?”
At the very least, this powerful question gives you insight into what the other person needs, and then of course opens the door for you to share your definition of success as well.
5. Let’s start with what we agree on.
When you’re in the middle of a workplace conflict, it’s easy to overlook commonalities. You likely share a common point of view that you can build on. Taking a few minutes to know what you agree on can help reduce stress and create a more collaborative tone for the work ahead.
6. What I hear you saying is __________. Am I interpreting this correctly?
Similar to number three where you mirror their emotion, this is a comprehension check to show that you are actively listening, interested, and truly understand the other person’s point of view. This powerful phrase is golden when working through conflict in the workplace because it also helps clear up misinterpretations and misunderstandings.
Powerful expressions appear curious
One of the fastest ways to get to the root of conflict in the workplace is to show genuine curiosity about what the situation looks like from the other person’s perspective. As with all these expressions of power, your positive intent is important, as is your tone and facial expression.
Your genuine curiosity will help people feel seen, and like the Clarity Power Expressions, can give you a deeper sense of expectations and desired outcomes.
7. I’m curious what it looks like from your perspective.
The beauty of this workplace conflict power expression is that it can be useful at almost any point in the conversation. Variations include, “How about this situation?” “I’d love to hear your perspective on the matter.”
Of course, once you listen to their perspective, you set the stage to share yours.
8. What do you suggest we do next?
This phrase of power can be so useful to move the conversation from complaining or hand-wringing to tangible next steps, and it sets you up to share your ideas as well.
9. What can I do to support you now?
One of the fastest ways to de-escalate an emotional conversation is to show up with genuine curiosity about how you can help. This question integrates with the essay questions listed above.
Strong expressions to close the conversation
One of the most frustrating aspects of conflict conversations in the workplace is that they never seem to end. One of the best ways to influence and influence more is through words that move you from discussion to action.
10. What is the action we can both agree on as the next step here?
You may not have solved all the problems, but redirecting the conversation to one specific next step helps create forward momentum. Only one action request will usually feel doable. And if one step feels easy, you can always say “Great, what else do you think we can do?”
11. So, to sum up our conversation, we agreed to do _________. Is that your understanding?
As you can see, we are big believers in “checking for understanding” throughout the conversation. This is especially important when concluding a confrontational conversation in the workplace. The more emotionally intense the conversation, the more critical this last step. If you leave the discussion with different expectations, you will have ongoing conflicts and hurt feelings.
12. Let’s set up a time to talk about it again, and see how our solution works.
If you’ve ever been to one of our leadership training programs, you’ll recognize this as “The Graduation Timing,”
One of the biggest sources of conflict in the workplace is when you think you’ve resolved it, and things don’t go the way you planned. Scheduling a time to talk about the situation again makes the follow-up conversation more natural, because you’ve already agreed to it. Timed follow-up increases the chances that you will both keep your commitments to each other. And it gives you a built-in opportunity to discuss the inevitable disruptions to your plan.
your turn
Conflict in the workplace is never easy, but often quite necessary and valuable in high-performing teams. The ability to defuse and navigate conflict in the workplace is one of the most important skill sets for any team member to master. These powerful phrases can serve as a useful starting point. We encourage you to refine them and make them your own.
we’ll be glad to hear from you: What would you add? What are your favorite phrases for navigating conflict in the workplace?
See also: Team Clash: How to Surface and Discuss Bubbling Issues (Video)
How to say no at work: powerful phrases to stand your ground
