You want your boss to see your genius. But what if they don’t? How do you communicate your value to get the recognition, support and advocacy you need? And how do you do it without looking needy?
One tool you get when you participate in our foundational leadership development program is the Confidence Competence Model. This helps you focus your training and development efforts on what everyone on your team needs most. A decade of leading high potential leadership programs around the world confirms – people who are good at what they do (and know it), long to be seen and challenged. Read more about maintaining top performance here.
If you identify as a “challenge me” employee, in the highly skilled and highly confident category, you also likely want your boss to see your genius, and challenge you to bring more of that to your current and future roles.
But what if your boss doesn’t get it? What if your genius isn’t something they appreciate?
its not easy. And there is hope. One of the favorite parts of our jobs is helping people unleash and apply their genius.
Start by being curious about their perspective.
Start by pausing about your frustration and appearing a little curious about their perspective.
1. Be interested in Tommy’s syndrome
If you’ve been around a long time, there might be some “Tommy Syndrome” going on. You joined your company as a child (Tommy). Now you’ve matured into a mature, high-performing leader, but your well-meaning boss, who knew you from the beginning, can’t see the (Tom) you’ve become.
2. Be curious if they “get it”
Or it could be that you have technical expertise that they simply are Do not understand. Or maybe they don’t appreciate what you’re doing.
I (Karin) had a boss who thought I lacked the business knowledge to lead a B2B sales organization. “Oh Karin, sure your team leads the nation in SMB (small and medium business sales), but selling to enterprise customers is completely different.” If I may be so bold, he has not seen my genius. I happily accepted a promotion outside of his organization because they wanted exactly the skills he couldn’t see.
Of course, now I am not only the founder and CEO of a successful international human-centered leadership company with large Enterprise clients worldwide, but we also designed and built all the products. I wish I had this article back then to help him with his lack of imagination 😉 And God, I hope he reads this on LinkedIn.
(Me too) David, had a boss who never really understood or appreciated anything I did in his organization. To be fair, he greatly appreciated and relied on some of the technical aspects of my work. But when it came to leading a diverse workforce with diverse experiences and perspectives, many of whom had challenging life circumstances, I knew he didn’t fully see or appreciate my leadership. Two months after I left the organization, he sent me a message one night that simply said, “I had no idea how much you did here.”
3. Be curious about the flood
It could be that your boss is just too busy or overwhelmed to see your genius, and needs your help to point it out. Honestly, that’s the best case scenario. Overwhelmed managers often really want to pay attention to the areas of their job (like investing in leaders) that they don’t have time for. The conversation starters below will help them vent and help you support what you need.
4. Be interested in how you can grow
And of course, they might have an important perspective that you really need to pay attention to. Maybe they see blind spots that keep you from being your best. Perhaps a lack of performance in an area that is critical to the success of your department undermines what you see as your genius. If you don’t have the basics covered (as your manager sees them), it can be challenging for him to see where you shine.
Starting the conversation with some curiosity is an important first step.
Some conversation starters to draw attention to your genius
When you show up curious, here are some conversation starters to uncover opportunities and understand their perspective. The key here is to ask for specific insights. “How am I?” or “Is there anything I should change?” can feel vague and overwhelming. Instead, here are some good options:
- I care a lot about this company and I want to contribute as much as possible. I’d love to hear your thoughts on one way I can add additional value to the team.
- Looking ahead to the next three months, I’m curious to know what you see as one of my greatest strengths to build on, and one opportunity to grow.
- I’m curious what a typical year for my position would look like from your perspective. What specifically do you see me doing now that will contribute to this happening? And what is one thing I should consider doing differently?
- What do you see as the top three strengths I bring to the team? How do you think I can contribute more in this arena?
Use strategic storytelling to showcase your genius
Once you’ve learned their perspective and looked at the opportunities they see for you, it’s time to talk about the characteristic you don’t think they see or appreciate. One way to do this is to learn the art of strategic storytelling. If your genius revolves around disgruntled customers, weave a casual story the next time you’re together about the customer, what happened, what you did and the difference it made.
If your genius is developing your team, talk about what you do and the difference it makes. One way to make this feel less awkward is to frame this story as identifying a team member.
“I have to tell you about how amazing Paul is doing with his sales closing rate. We’ve been working really hard on his opening and closing statements, and he’s doing really well!”
Powerful phrases to ask for what you need and highlight your genius
These phrases can help open the door to better exposure from managers and opportunities to showcase your work and that of your team.
- I would love to give you the opportunity to learn more about my team and the work we do. Can we schedule a time to do this?
- I worked on ___________ and I know how important it is to our overall strategy. Can we spare a few minutes in an upcoming team meeting so I can give you and the team some updates?
- With all the remote work in recent years, I wonder if we’re missing opportunities to really get to know each other and what each of us brings to the team. What if I set up some time in an upcoming meeting where we can talk about the biggest strength we bring to the team?
- I have always been proud of my ability to __________. And sometimes I don’t feel like I get a chance to do that as much as I’d like here. Do you see more opportunities for me to use this skill here?
Once you’ve arrived curious and asked for an opportunity to showcase your skills and accomplishments, another approach is to be a little more direct and ask for exactly what you need.
- I have to tell you, I think I’m pretty good at ________. I would love the opportunity to show you up to ________.
- I know you haven’t had much opportunity to see my ability ______. What if I took on _______ (special project, pilot of an idea).
- I really think I’m ready to _______. What concerns did you have about me taking it upon myself?
your turn
When you feel like your manager doesn’t see or value that aspect of your job where you feel like you’re a superstar, start with curiosity. Pay attention to what might be hiding your unique value and where they see opportunities to grow. Once you’ve learned their perspective, use strategic storytelling to frame your abilities and ask for what you need.
Now it’s your turn – we’d love to hear from you: Was there a time when you felt like your boss just didn’t understand? What did you do? Did you manage to change the situation?
