Most leadership training ignores the one channel that never lies: the body. Words are edited. Tone is managed. But a small shift in someone's face or hands can tell you what they really think, and a good leader learns to read it without making a production of it.
In a recent episode of the "Asking For a Friend" podcast from Let's Grow Leaders, body language expert Traci Brown broke down the signals that matter most for leaders. The conversation covered facial expressions, remote video cues, and the kinds of body movements that show up in fraud cases. We pulled out the parts that actually change how you run a one-on-one, a team meeting, or a hard conversation.
Quick take:
- Watch facial expressions and tone together, never just words
- Nodding while denying something is a classic mismatch signal
- Squeezed lips often signal silent disagreement
- Online body language works like in-person reading, with limits
- Position your eyes in the top third of the video frame for camera meetings
The basics: face, tone, and the gaps between them
Words, tone, and body language are three separate channels, Brown explained. When they line up, you usually have the truth. When they do not, pay attention. A team member who says "I'm fine" while their jaw tightens is sending a second message. A peer who nods while saying "I would never do that" is doing the same. Mismatches are not proof of anything, but they are an invitation to ask one more question.
Brown also flagged that noticing shifts in patience, tone, or engagement matters beyond team dynamics. These same skills show up in fraud detection. Sudden changes in how someone communicates are often the first signal when something is off. Train yourself to notice the change, not just the words.
One more thing worth noting: emotions are not bad. Brown calls them an invitation to delve deeper into the conversation. The goal is not to judge, but to understand.
Facial cues worth learning
A few signals carry more weight than others. Squeezed or pressed lips usually mean silent disagreement. Lip rolling can be someone holding back emotion or information. A drop of the eyebrows is often anger. Eyebrows pulled up can signal sadness. One eyebrow up is skepticism. Showing whiteness of the eyes is fear.
None of these are diagnoses. They are starting points. The right move is not to call someone out for a tight jaw, it is to ask a follow-up. "You look like you have thoughts on this. What are they?" goes a long way.
What changes in remote and masked settings
Reading people on video is harder, not impossible. Brown says online reading works the same way as in-person reading, you just have less data. A person who turns their camera off mid-conversation is sending a message. So is someone who keeps their face in a tiny window in the corner of the screen. Watch what you can see.
She also noted that we tend to make eye contact only about 60 percent of the time in person. On video, sustained eye contact feels intense and tiring. Give people breaks. Look at the camera, but also look at the screen. Mix it up.
A practical setup for video calls
Two small habits, both from Brown, make a real difference. First, position your eyes in the top third of the video frame. Sit close enough that your face fills most of the frame. Second, do not worry if the top of your head gets slightly cut off. It actually looks better than a small face floating in a sea of background. If you sit too far back, your face in the lower quarters will look less engaged. Both habits make you look more present without trying harder.
Can you learn this quickly?
Brown is direct: rapid hacks will not work. You will look incompatible. Real skill comes from long-term practice, including mirroring and matching exercises. We naturally follow others, and people connect with those who feel familiar. Over time, you will read situations more naturally.
Who should care
| Situation | Why body language matters here |
|---|---|
| One-on-one check-ins | Catches stress or disengagement before it escalates |
| Team meetings | Reveals which ideas have silent support or pushback |
| Client calls | Surfaces concerns clients won't state directly |
| Interviews | Helps read interviewer reactions and adjust approach |
| High-stakes negotiations | Flags when the other side is holding back information |
Worked example
Say you run a weekly one-on-one. Your direct report says everything is on track, but their lips press together when they mention the new project. Do not ignore it. Try: "I noticed you reacted a bit when you brought up the new project. Anything you want to flag?" You have not accused them of anything. You have opened a door. Most of the time, that is all it takes.
Bottom line
Body language is not mind reading. It is a tool for paying better attention. Watch the face, trust the mismatches, and ask the second question. Leaders who do this get more honest answers, earlier.
Key takeaways
- Words, tone, and body language are three separate channels—watch all three together
- Mismatches between what someone says and how they say it are invitations to ask one more question
- Online body language reading works like in-person, just with less data—pay attention to camera-off moments and tiny video windows
- Position your eyes in the top third of the video frame and do not worry about a slight head cut at the top
- Quick fixes do not work; practice mirroring and paying attention over time
- Emotions are not obstacles—they are signals worth exploring
Frequently asked questions
Why is body language important for leaders?
It surfaces information that words and tone hide, especially stress, disagreement, and disengagement, and gives leaders a chance to address issues early.
How can I read body language on video calls?
Watch the face and hands you can see, notice when people turn their camera off, and look for the same cues you would in person, just with less data.
What does it mean when someone's lips are pressed together?
According to Traci Brown, it often signals silent disagreement or holding something back, and is a prompt to ask a follow-up.
Can I learn body language quickly?
Not through hacks. Brown notes that real skill comes from long-term practice, including mirroring exercises. Quick fixes can make you look incompatible.
Where should my eyes be on a video call?
Position your eyes in the top third of the frame, and do not worry if the top of your head is slightly cut. Sitting too far back makes your face look disengaged.